As the government's CEO, his business plan has been inexplicable, careering from one disastrous investment to another, one unfathomable personnel move to another.

And then it hit me: Gibbons is laying the groundwork for a best-selling business primer. Working title: What Not to Do to Succeed in Business (or Government)

No one is better qualified to pen such an authoritative tome. May I suggest an outline?

Chapter 1 - At your IPO, always lie about what you are about to do. Gibbons began his tenure by telling voters he needed to be secretly sworn in to protect the state's homeland security net. But what he really was doing was laying the legal groundwork for a simple political ploy to oust a Kenny Guinn appointee to the state Gaming Control Board. Confidence-inspiring, it was not.

Chapter 2 - Make your employees wonder if you are up to the job. In his first major speech to shareholders - aka the State of the State - Gibbons talked about concepts he clearly did not understand, such as empowerment schools. When he later told a reporter he was going to a remedial course in empowerment, that was not ... empowering.

Chapter 3 - Advertise to the public that you value cronies over competence, cravenness over loyalty. Gibbons began his administration by betraying the man who had been most dedicated to him for years, Robert Uithoven, and hiring two people, Mike Dayton and Dianne Cornwall, who were in favor with him and - this sounds so funny now - his wife, Dawn, so loyal to him during the Chrissy Mazzeo incident. And now they are gone - and Dawn, too.

Chapter 4 - Hold your friends far away, push your enemies further. Gibbons seems to hold his own counsel, which means he is getting some of the worst advice imaginable. He already has acknowledged that he sent staffers to talk to the most important opposition leader in the Legislature, Speaker Barbara Buckley. And Senate Majority Leader Bill Raggio, who worked with Democrats in the mansion, felt the governor sold him out during the special session. Don't tell John Donne about Jim Gibbons - he is an island.

Chapter 5 - When times get tough, be totally inconsistent. State employee raises are off the table. Let's call a special session to get rid of the employee raises. I never said I was for cutting the raises, so now I am against them. I presume this kind of extreme flexibility is an admirable quality in a gymnast, but not so much in a CEO.

Chapter 6 - Keep setting the bar lower. Just when we thought the nadir had arrived, Gibbons makes us look foolish. If it's not taking a much-reviled deputy chief of staff and putting her in charge of an important state agency, it's taking the much-reviled head of that state agency and making her chief of staff. Deputy Chief of Staff Dianne Cornwall and Business and Industry boss Mendy Elliott switch jobs? This makes sense in what world? And then, after telling everyone your private life is nobody's business, you make it everybody's business with the spectacle of a 60-something clubbing and canoodling with married women. And now, the latest is a tax scandal, as the Associated Press reports that the governor may have gotten special treatment on a rural land purchase. Day and night, Gibbons sets a new standard.

I am sure there are many more chapters to be written. After all, unless the shareholders mount an unprecedented revolt, the CEO is less than halfway into a guaranteed contract.

It's simple: If you do the opposite of these guidelines, you will be enormously successful. Indeed, these tips could be helpful to anyone starting out in business or politics, so Gibbons has provided an invaluable service.

Who knew?